 Are you having a BAD HAIR day?
Stress is something I am very aware of that this time of year. It can build up to the point where we are constantly on high alert – ready to react to anything and everything. So what happens when we are stressed? A video I watched recently explains it perfectly (here is my synoposes). When we are stressed, we experience one of four things: Fright – we get jumpy, sensitive to loud sounds, or feel uncomfortable in new places Flight – we run Fight – we kick, yell, hit Freeze – withdraw or cannot move All this happens because our thinking brain gets turned off, and our reptilian brain goes into action (this is our place of instinct). We are having a healthy response to an unhealthy situation, and it happens on auto pilot. Adrenaline is quickly released from the adrenal glands – this gives us a boost of energy so we can act quickly in response to the situation. Cortisol is slowly released from the brain. It’s the cortisol that stays in the body a long time, which is why we can get re-triggered again very quickly if another “danger/stress” is perceived i.e. we are on “high alert”. The antidote to stress is oxytocin which is released into the body by the brain when we interact with people (and our pets) in a positive way through cuddles, hugs, smiles and, of course, massage! It is important to know that we have to actively engage with the interaction – to receive the hug, to allow yourself to feel good, to enjoy it – then the oxytocin is released. It’s a bit like walking through a park. If you stop to look at the flowers, enjoy the colours, admire the trees - just experience the beauty of it for a few minutes - you will feel uplifted and refreshed. However if you were to walk through the park thinking of your shopping list or work, there is no change. You know what I mean? Well it’s the same with human interaction. We have to experience it to receive the benefits of it. In an earlier blog of mine, I talk about another chemical the brain releases called DHEA which helps us when we are stressed. This is released in the body when we get into “appreciation/gratitude” mode AND go for a walk at the same time (which moves the DHEA around the body). There is always a point after an event where we can take a few slow deep breaths, and allow ourselves to calm down, a time where everything is okay again. You know what I mean? So remember to give each other hugs and smiles throughout this busy time. To receive each other. Take the time to be grateful and appreciate what you have and what is around you. Smell the roses and enjoy the beauty of our country. Stress will naturally melt away. Elayne Lane is a massage therapist and hypnotherapist. She specialises in relaxation massage and hypnotherapy for stress relief. Click here to get in touch.
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 Stress and anxiety are not pleasant feelings to experience are they? Most people know that long term, they are not good for our health.
Fortunately most forms of anxiety and stress can be turned around and used to make us stronger. Anxiety is a build up of energy, coming up in response to something going on around us. We might feel we are not coping and this brings up fear, shortness of breath, and other physiological responses. I am always interested in the different ways people deal with anxiety and stress, and recently I watched a video by Kerwin Rae which had an interesting take on it. He says: 1. Breathe deeply and slowly. This calms our nervous system and enables oxygen to get to all our organs. It helps us to get back into a calm and even flow. I have noticed when I give massage how often people breathe in their upper chest with shallow breaths, as soon as they start breathing deeply, right down into their bellies, they start to relax. It helps them get back into their bodies. 2. Kerwin says that we need to neutralise what is causing us to be anxious by asking these questions:
Please feel free to share this with your family and friends. Elayne Note: If you have long term anxiety, it doesn't have to be this way. There is lots of professional help out there and most people start by visiting their GP, a Counsellor or Psychologist.  Do you ever feel lonely? I wonder what that is all about. I am a person who likes time on my own. It gives me time to relax, to walk or read or study. To do things I want to do. But I have noticed that there are times when being alone feels uncomfortable. Often I do nothing about it, and grind on through the day feeling a bit empty and dissatisfied. The feeling hangs out with me and, if left unattended, starts to morph in all sorts of directions. I start to wonder what is wrong with me? If I decide to go down that rabbit hole it can end up in all kinds of dark places (usually ending up with beating myself up) - and that's not a nice way to treat myself! Recently I decided to explore this more.
What does loneliness mean to me? I realized I feel this feeling when I separate myself from people. Quite literally I isolate myself. I do have lots of wonderful friends, but sometimes I unplug myself from that network and imagine that I am in the world all by myself. Instead of ringing a friend up, I focus on being isolated and alone. One day I realized I could start to see that lonely empty feeling from a different perspective - to re-frame it.
I have noticed that as soon as I do this, I no longer feel isolated and alone. I have reconnected myself into my network. Dare I say it, I have connected into the flow of life And everybody loves feeling that they belong, don't they? So next time you feel alone, try re-framing it and see what happens. Elayne is a Massage Therapist. She is running a special offer of $50 for a 1 hour session during the month of July.  One of the reasons we are more prone to anxiety these days, is that we are constantly on an emotional roller coaster – stimulated by movies, social media, television and books with emotive stories. On one hand each one of these activities can give us some “time out” at the end of the day, on the other hand, it is important to note that our over-stimulated mind and emotions absorb it all and the constant input actually "adds" to the overall stress. For example: if you watch a movie about a predator and you are involved in the story, your body cannot differentiate between the pretend story and real life. If you feel frightened whilst watching the movie, or your hair goes up on the back of your neck, you feel cold, sweaty or upset; then your emotional system is on! This means your adrenal glands are pumping the hormones that make the body to go into fight and flight mode. (Check out my deep breathing practice to reverse the affects of adrenal gland hormones) Likewise if you see or read something that is really sad (I get triggered and cry every time I watch the movie Whale Rider), and you feel like crying, you are also having an emotional reaction which is affecting the chemistry in your body. All this is fine if you are not over-anxious, but it is not okay if your system is already in overdrive. Our thinking and emotions are affected by the chemicals in our body: food, drugs, our own hormones, and toxins in the environment all have an affect on our mental and emotional health. For example, when I had my son, I did not sleep well (as is usual if you have babies!) and also had a lot of financial stress as my husband was made redundant. Eventually this lead to the break down of my health and I became fatigued. It was when I changed my diet, learnt how to relax and sleep, rebalance the chemistry in my body that I started to emotionally/mentally feel better again..  So, take some time out from movies,social media, books and TV. You could:
Please note that these blogs are from a lay person and not a counsellor, psychologist or medical professional. If you think you have severe anxiety or depression, you should consult with a professional. Click here for my Worry and Anxiety resource page To book a session with Elayne click here  Did you know that there is a direct relationship with our breathing pattern and stress/worry/anxiety or fear? And that it can work both ways? When we are fearful or anxious, our breathing pattern and posture changes - this puts us in fight or flight mode. When we relax our bodies and breathe deep, we go into relax mode. Here is what happens when we get stressed: 1. Our shoulders go up around our ears 2. Often our jaw tightens 3. We take short (sometimes fast) breaths in our upper lungs - or we hardly breathe at all! 4. Our thinking moves to the reptilian brain which triggers off our flight/fight response read more. The good news is that we can change this pattern, just by doing the opposite of the above...  1. Relax the shoulders and let them drop 2. Relax the jaw, puff out the cheeks and blow out through the mouth (like a horse blowing through its lips) 3. Breathe deep tummy breaths, filling it like a balloon - exhale extra slow 4. The thinking moves to the hypothalamus which controls the relaxation response Its an interesting thing that even when we are not stressed or fearful, we can still breathe shallow breaths in the upper chest. To some degree the body still thinks we are stressed, even though we are not! If we have had a long period of stress, our body gets trained into being "on the edge" all the time - it stays in the fight/flight mode. Luckily we can un-train the body and this is done through breath work. Click here for two different techniques for breathing. Below is a poster with tips for releasing stress. Also some links to other websites for breath work.  Other blogs related to breathing and anxiety:
http://www.anxietycoach.com/breathingexercise.html Please note that these blogs are from a lay person and not a counsellor, psychologist or medical professional. If you think you have severe anxiety or depression, you should consult with a professional. Click here for my Worry and Anxiety resource page  There are times in our lives when we get either very busy or stressed. Our whole system seems to get revved up, and we spend most of our days in our head. We can feel
I have noticed that how I feel depends a lot on where I place my attention. If I keep focusing on the bad/stressful things, then I tend to become more emotional and stressed. If I focus on what feels good, over time, I get more good going!  A quick way to to unwind is to notice that there are moments of okayness. Not every moment is bad or hectic. One of my practices was to take a deep breath and say to myself: “in this moment I’m okay”. Or “in this moment I feel alright”. By noticing when I feel lighter, okay, awake, calm, peaceful and DRAWING MY ATTENTION to it, I realised that things weren’t bad all the time. It gives me a sense of relief! The more I appreciate the periods of okayness, the longer they get! Elayne is a trained Aromatherapist and Bodyworker. This blog is written from her personal experience - she is a layperson and not a medical practitioner. If you have on-going stress and anxiety it is recommended that you seek professional assistance.
To book a session click here. For additional blogs, resources and information on stress and anxiety click here.  Letting go of the past is not easy, especially if the past holds something unresolved.
Questions haunt us and they take a lot of energy.... WHY? WHAT did I do wrong? WHAT could I have done differently? Pondering on these questions can drive us crazy. These questions can form a loop in our minds and take up a lot of "free to air space"! Often there are no answers to these types of questions. Even if the person concerned could give you an answer, it could be emotionally loaded or distorted. The good news is that with a bit of effort on your part, there is a way to make them lose their grip and stop their obsessing. Step 1. Every time you go back to an old thought (which may include he WHY or WHAT questions), write it down in a notebook. When it repeats again, give it a tick and have this conversation with yourself: "Yep, got that thanks. I can’t change this and at this stage there is no answer to it. Maybe one day in the future I will know the answer, maybe I will never know the answer to it. I do know that the question has already been asked, and if I am meant to know the answer it will come to me in its own good time. Thinking about this question is not helpful to me right now. In fact, I think it so much it is becoming boring”. This kind of self-conversation can be quite helpful as it helps the mind change its focus. Step 2 is CHANGE THE RECORD. By this I mean:
Step 3. Every time you get a repeat thought do Steps 1 and 2 again. Before long it will begin to change. The periods of obsessive thinking will get less, and the “I am feeling okay” time will get longer. Many years ago a friendship ended suddenly. There were lots of “whys” floating around in my head, I kept thinking about the person, even though I didn’t see them any more. So I found a photo of that person, said all that I wanted to say to them and thanked them for the lesson. I told them I wanted to be free now. I then said “I let you go” and asked for them to be surrounded in love. I didn't have to love them myself, but I knew that there is some kind of benevolent love out there which could go to them. I then changed the record in my head by saying affirmations, getting involved in an absorbing activity or giving thanks for what I have. Whenever this person came back into my mind I did the same process again. In fact, the first day I did it a lot of times – such was my habit of thinking about them. I was very strict with myself and stuck with the programme. The second day it was less, and by the third day it was considerably less. It was such a relief to stop thinking about that person. I felt free! In time some answers did come to me - often unsolicited and out of the blue! I realised it wasn't all their fault and that I had a part to play in it too. By releasing my grip on the situation things began to open up and come clear. If you have trouble letting go and would like some help, please contact me. Elayne, MassageInNelson.com |
AuthorElayne Lane is an instructor of the Universal Healing Tao. She has been teaching and doing bodywork in excess of 14 years. Make an appointment Subscribe to our Healing NewsletterCategories
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Elayne Lane is a qualified Aromatherapist, bodyworker, healer, reiki practitioner and trained teacher. She is training as a hypnotherapist.
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Elayne Lane
17 Fifeshire Crescent Stepneyville Nelson New Zealand Cellphone: 0212211949 Sign up for Elayne's Healing Newsletter or contact Elayne. |